This past weekend Dr. Eggerichs described the “Crazy Cycle”: without love, she reacts without respect. Without respect, he reacts without love. Just as Dr. Eggerichs tells us in the video clip below from the weekend service, the “Cycle” won’t stop until someone makes it stop. Ironically, she is not necessarily trying to be disrespectful, but is in need of love. He is not deliberately trying to be unloving, but is in need of respect.
Only by voluntarily deciding to give your spouse the benefit of the doubt can the crazy cycle be slowed. It requires a willingness to choose the Way of Jesus, who willingly sacrificed to heal our relationship with God. Usually, this is one spouse taking the first step. As Pastor Jeff Manion often says, “Our obedience is not dependent upon the obedience of others.”
Today, consider how the crazy cycle evidences itself in your marriage. In your The New You journal (click here for a PDF version), take time to write a prayer similar to the following model prayer:
God, I confess I often cause the “Crazy Cycle” to spin in my marriage. I know when I don’t feel loved/respected, I often react without love/respect. I ask for your forgiveness and help. Please help me be sensitive to your Spirit’s convicting to realize when we are in the cycle. Help me live like Jesus by being willing to do what it takes to get off the cycle when we get on it. Thank you for your grace and forgiveness.